Gettiing Dad Involved from the Beginning!

Wake up moms everywhere! While you may know best – dads play an important role in your baby’s life as well. Getting them involved early on is beneficial to you, your baby and your baby’s father!

From pregnancy to childbirth, many fathers begin to feel left out of the loop of parenthood early on. Then, once the baby comes and maternal instinct takes over – millions of men are left insecure about their abilities to change a diaper or feed their child a bottle. This is never intentional on the part of the mother – and more about years and years of social programming that say, “Mother knows best!”

The problem is that when dad is not given an opportunity to care for their own child, they have a harder time bonding. Eventually, they may feel like they live on the outskirts of a life that doesn’t include them. Add ten more years to the mix, and mom becomes the ultra responsible party and is often left feeling resentment and as if they cannot catch a break. Many marital problems begin this way, innocently and without conversation but if you remain aware and open – you can be sure it doesn’t happen to you.

First of all, realize that dad is capable of caring for your child. In fact, even if you are breastfeeding – you can include dad in the day-to-day routine care. If you feed the breast exclusively, then give dad the baby right before she falls asleep and let him be the one to tuck them comfortably into their crib. Additionally, giving dad a chance to snuggle bare chested with his child – so they can connect to his heartbeat as well, can forge bonding and assure you that baby is just as happy with dad as they are with you.

Dad can also diaper a baby with ease. A funny report indicates that moms can change a diaper in an average of 85 minutes, while dad trails at around 3-5 minutes for one diaper change. Rather than stand over his shoulder, concerned that he is putting it on too tightly or backwards, allow him to take control. Your husband is also capable of dressing and bathing your baby. In fact, the more dad is empowered to handle an infant, the more at ease he will feel. To men, infants seem extremely small and fragile when compared to their large hands – and handling a baby is one of the easiest ways to soften any man.

The older your child gets, the more difficult it can be to break the mommy habit. If you don’t utilize dad and allow him to use his very own methods and techniques you will find that you are completely tied to your baby. An older infant will begin to cry with insecurity every time mom leaves the room, making it even harder for dad to join the family. However, if you perceive dad as a just as important figure in your child’s life from the very beginning – your baby will be treated to two parents that he feels completely at ease with.

I can remember when my first child was born. Even though I was more than open to my husband caring for our child when I wasn’t around, my mother in law was not so sure. Every time I was scheduled to leave the house, she would be waiting around the corner, waiting to rescue my husband from the trials of caring for an infant. (YES maddening to say the least!) The sad truth is this did nothing for his fatherly confidence. Remember, this is your child. You and your husband are not only capable but SHOULD ALWAYS be comfortable taking care of the baby alone.

Of course, don’t expect to leave the house with dad in charge and come back to a home that is clean and tidy. Chances are you will be able to witness every move your husband and the baby made by the mess left behind. The baby may be dressed in mismatching clothes and be asleep on his chest rather in the crib where you prefer! Leave it alone. Your motherly instinct should be able to tell that chaos you are witnessing – completely opposite of how you would do things, is quite simply your family in the making. Dads add an incredible spice to the life of their children and they should be both encouraged and appreciated for all that they do.