You and Your Child’s Teacher

What to Do if You Don’t Like Your Child’s Teacher 

Who is the perfect teacher to you?  When you are sending a toddler to school you imagine a sunny, plump older woman with grandmotherly eyes who smells like brownies and has no aversions to taking your child on their knee when they cry.  Then, you meet the real person teaching your child and your heart sinks.  No way they will be nurturing and caring enough for your child and you second guess your decision to send them to school.  The older they get the less control you have over who your child’s teacher is and the harder it can be if you decide that you are not happy with their educator.  But what is a parent to do?

First of all, keep your gut instincts to yourself.  Avoid talking about your impressions of the teacher in front of the child so that they do not inherit any of your predispositions.  This way when your child talks about their day they will be able to tell you the pros and cons without being fearful that you will literally fly off the handle over something the teacher did.  The second thing is to try not to make an immediate first impression and ignore the banter of other parents who did not like this same teacher.  Their reasons may be something that you never come across and your child is different than theirs.  The teacher student relationship is much about chemistry between personalities and it is obvious that some teachers (whether admittedly or not) don’t get along with certain kids. 

The other thing to realize is that a teacher has to have discipline and order in the classroom in order to keep things rolling smoothly.  There is nothing worse than a room full of 22 5 or 6 year olds.  Your ideas about how to keep order may be different that ones the teacher employs, however you are not in his or her shoes.  True, you may think it is mean, corporal punishment even, to take away a child’s snack; but more than likely the teacher had good reason to do so. 

It is time to worry when your child begins to dread going to school or comes homes from school down trodden and emotionally bruised.  If your child is always telling you stories about what Mr. Sunny did to him or her, or feels that the teacher doesn’t like him it is best to schedule a conference.  Children don’t make this stuff up.  Be clear in your meeting and express your concerns.  Watch very carefully for her reactions both spoken and otherwise so you can ascertain whether or not a personality conflict may in fact exist.  If you feel something just isn’t right from that gut instinct of a parent place – request your child have a new teacher.  Once you do, keep your opinions of this teacher and your recounts of the situation to yourself.  It is also important that you child doesn’t assume that they can have a new teacher every time something doesn’t go their way in school – it may be best to act as if the switch had nothing to do with you at all. 

The school year can be difficult when you don’t like your Childs teacher.  This doesn’t get easier as they get older and have more and more educators to deal with.  You will find that each of them has a different classroom personality, level of expertise and style.  Some will work for you and others you will genuinely not like.  As long as your child’s educational experience is not hindered by your lack of luster for a teacher; it is best to allow the life lesson to run its course.