Considering Your Own Mortality?

There are very few moms who dont think about what would happen to their children, if something happened to them! Ease your fears and realize finally, that you are not alone!

Once you become a mother, your life takes on new meaning. More than likely, before this point you didn’t think too much about things like breast cancer or your family medical history. In fact, the average pregnancy lands you in a doctor’s office more times than you have likely been there your entire adult life. All of the doctor talk, tests, scans and information that clearly paints a picture of how many things can go wrong; the culmination of labor and delivery along with new fears about your baby’s health have many women considering their own mortality for the first time.

Suddenly you have become a mom and now your life is not only more important, but someone you love very much is depending on you. If you were to get sick or God forbid find out you have a serious illness or disease your mind immediately races to all the things that you would miss in your child’s life. For plenty of women, this fear lies stagnant after delivery as you totter between wondering if your baby is normal and hoping that the nagging pain in your stomach or arm is not cancer. Since you consider yourself to be realistic and not in the least a hypochondriac – you don’t share it with anyone else, but in your mind it lurks.

This is a part of parenting that few moms talk about. Even worse, upon becoming a mother you will often put yourself last on the list. When your child is ill, you rush them to the doctor praying it’s not meningitis – but when it comes to you; you just deal with it. You may keep a cold for months. You may suffer from exhaustion or other ailments and chalk it up to being so busy being mom. And, if you are like 2 out of every 3 moms, you don’t want to go to the doctor and have to pay high deductibles when you have diapers to buy. You more than likely skip your annual visit, forget about self breast exams, and secretly worry.

The wish of every mom is to see her child grow up. Often, news of another mom just like you who is ill or dying, can trigger overwhelming sadness and fear that the same thing might happen to you. Once the thoughts come into your head, it can be hard to shake them. Some moms become so attached to the fear of their own death that they don’t like to take long car trips, get on planes, or do anything that might put their life at risk. Many of these moms also start to worry about their husbands. What would they do if something happened to him?

Motherhood, or parenthood in general reminds even the most levelheaded person that life is moving on. As you give birth to a life, you realize that just yesterday, you too were a child. Then watching them grow up so quick, you catch a glimpse in the mirror and see the grey hairs and wrinkles that screams “I am getting older!” While excessive worrying about your own mortality can be a sign of depression or post-partum depression – you should know that you aren’t alone in your thoughts. It may feel silly to say them out loud or to share them another person – but every good mom is thinking the same thing. Why? Because our children make us feel alive, and suddenly we are no longer taking for granted youth, health and life. It isn’t that you didn’t have a reason to be healthy before – you just never gave it thought. Call it the leftover invincibility of youth. Remember, that the best way to combat your fears is to make sure that you take care of yourself as vigilantly as you do your children. Get your yearly pap exams. See your doctor when you need to and confide in friends and family. The other thing to do is prepare your life by making sure you have enough health insurance and have your wishes for your children clearly documented. While nothing can replace you in your child’s life and it is very unlikely that anything will happen to you – motherhood teaches us to think of everything and to always be prepared.