When Breastfeeding Doesnt Work?

When Breastfeeding Goes Wrong, is it time to panic or just get used to the ebb and flow of motherhood? Far too many women feel needlessly guilty about being unable or lacking the desire to breastfeed

There are plenty of mothers who know upon becoming pregnant that they have the desire to breastfeed their child. And why not? Breastfeeding is an extremely natural, healthy, easy, and affordable way to feed an infant and increase the bonds that exist between mother and child. But what happens when it (meaning breastfeeding) doesn’t work?

According to Statistics by the American Board of Obstetrics and Gynecology, every 1 out of 3 women experience problems breastfeeding. And there are lots of things that can go wrong. From sore nipples to infections that can become life threatening, breastfeeding has its challenges. If you are one of the lucky ones whose baby took to the breast without a problem, consider yourself blessed. However, if you are not – realize that what you are going through is very commonplace in the world of raising children. In fact, the failure to breastfeed or the inability to do so can be the first disappointment in a long list of those that commonly occur as mothers.

If your baby is unable to latch on or if you experience problems with supply and demand – you are not alone. And even more importantly, you shouldn’t feel bad about it. Unfortunately, the trials and tribulations of breastfeeding occur during a time in your life when you are no doubt vulnerable (and dare we say hormonal). You have a perfect picture in your mind of holding your baby while they nurse and not being able to do so can be heartbreaking. There are many women, who cling to lactation consultants and take many trips back and forth to the hospital post partum in the hopes that their breasts and their baby make the necessary connection. This can feel like a race against the clock, because the longer your baby goes without adequate nourishment, the more concerned doctors will get. Then suddenly there is pressure from both sides. The lactation nurses and the pediatrician.

During this time, lots of people will try to help, which makes things worse. They will tell you their own war stories of breastfeeding or try to give you ideas and tips to make things better. The sad part is that while you may be suffering emotional pain; you may also be having physical pain. Many women end up with swollen and sore breasts and nipples and infections that are anything but easy to cure. And for most women, they continuously come back. Bleeding nipples, pus, swollen glands, and breasts that are tender to the touch are horrific to endure.

What you need to understand, what you MUST understand is that it is okay if it doesn’t work out! If you really wanted to breastfeed or felt compelled to do so in order to be the metaphorical “perfect mother” and you tried…then it is okay to stop. Additionally, if you don’t enjoy breastfeeding or pumping milk very much – you aren’t a bad mother. Sometimes breastfeeding works and sometimes it doesn’t. It runs the gamut with things like having an epidural or not, using cloth versus disposable diapers. The tricky thing to realize with all the outward pressure indicating, “breast is best” is that it isn’t so for everyone. If breastfeeding doesn’t work out for you, or your baby just doesn’t seem to be satisfied, your life will be much easier when you decide to roll with the punches and move on.

There are many women who have literally endured breastfeeding, feeling the emotional or physical tolls (or both) just to prove something. Silly! They may feel they just have to, or are afraid to admit that it isn’t working out like they planned. After all, we all want pregnancy, childbirth, and child rearing to go perfectly. And it rarely does.

The mark of a good mother is not whether she breastfed or not. Rather the mark of a good mother is left by one who does what is right FOR HER and for her baby. Often in that order. A happy mother – one who is calm, at peace and not feeling pressured by a breastfeeding plan that isn’t quite working out – makes for the very best kind. And if this mother decides to feed her baby a bottle, she will bond just as well and perhaps more quickly than she would by throwing her health under the bus.

You need to enjoy the precious first months of your baby’s life together. This is a very special time whether you are breastfeeding or not. Today’s formulas and bottles can do the job just as well as your sore breasts can. This is not to say that breastfeeding doesn’t provide a grand entrance into this world, it does. But so does any experience between you and your baby that feels right and feels good to you. If breastfeeding isn’t working for you, leave the guilt and remorse behind and get on with it already! There are millions of things you do every moment with your baby that are just as special!