When is the Last Time You Ate Pizza by Candlelight?
Could Pizza by Candlelight Be the key to reconnecting with your spouse?
One of the most difficult things about becoming a parent is letting go of the freedoms you once enjoyed. I’m not even talking about big freedoms. I don’t mean last minute vacations to exotic places, or wild weekends out with friends. Those are freedoms you prepare yourself to give up when you make the decision to begin a family. No, I’m not talking big freedoms. I’m talking about the little ones. The freedom of five minutes to yourself to not do anything at all. The freedom to talk to your spouse, of sneak a sloppy kiss without someone watching or interrupting. The freedom to use the restroom… without anyone calling your name. The freedom to eat what you want for dinner without any consideration to the picky eaters in the house.
They center entire sitcoms on the very scenarios that have become the norm in your life, but it all seemed a lot funnier before it was you with the starring role. So before you and your spouse end up crawling in your respective “spot” and pulling up the floral print comforter as you settle in to read until you fall asleep, take a minute to reevaluate the things that you really need and the freedoms that you simply don’t feel that you should have to give up. True, parenting is largely about sacrifice. But you don’t have to sacrifice everything.
• Make time for you and your spouse to be just a guy and a gal that really like one another. Do you remember how you got in this mess in the first place? Because that guy… right there… gave you butterflies in your stomach, and you couldn’t get enough of each other.
• Be realistic. Date Night may not be a reality for you. You may not be able to find (or afford) a sitter once a week, or even once a month. But you do have a bedroom, and if you have any sense at all, there is a lock on the door. If all you can manage is to order your favorite kind of pizza and sneak off to your room, do it. Sit on your bed, light some candles, and enjoy your meal.
• Be comfortable laughing at yourself (and each other). Yes, sometimes the lengths we go to as parents to maintain a life outside of “mom” and “dad” is ridiculous. Are you really locked in your bedroom eating pizza by candlelight? Yes you are, and you used a coupon!
• Keep it in perspective. Although the calls for “mommy” and the interrupted movies, “moments”, and nights’ sleep can wear you down, remember how quickly time really does pass. Realize that the same fondness with which you look back on your pre-parent years will also apply to the life you’re living now. Someday, you’ll realize you haven’t been interrupted in the restroom for ten years. And you’ll get a bit nostalgic.
Don’t get so caught up looking for better days in the future or remembering the good times of the past that you forget to see today for what it is.