Tips for Keeping Your Marriage Alive
Keeping Your Relationship Alive & Parenting Well!
By the time most couples realize they are in some sort of marital trouble they have become such strangers to one another that they don’t even know how to begin the repair. Having children can strain a relationship and so many parents feel they have the utmost responsibility to tend to their child first and foremost, ignoring the emotional needs of their spouse along the way. It isn’t any one’s fault, it just is the truth. With so much to do, so many places to go and so much pressure to be the perfect parent, few parents take time to be the perfect spouse.
The tricks to keeping your relationship alive while raising children is actually pretty easy. What is not easy, is following through. You may plan a dinner date and find that you are too exhausted to even get dressed. You may spend so much time discussing the children and the going on’s that you never talk about each other or remind one another just how special they are. You also may be holding resentment because your spouse is not the sort of parent you expected them to. There are millions of valid reasons to become distant with your spouse – which is why it is so vital to embark on ideas that will save your relationship before it’s too late.
First, make time for each other and make each other a priority. This means, telling the kids that you are talking to daddy right now or that they need to be quiet so you and mommy can watch a movie. Children need to learn at home that they aren’t the center of the universe and your relationship needs to carry some significant weight. Research shows that couples with kids who take time to be together without the kids in tow have a 75% better chance of making it through. Similarly, these couples parent together and affirmatively stand behind one another when it comes to raising the kids. The lesson is that the kids learn that mom and dad need space and time as well and they are a unit that deserves respect and the opportunity to retain privacy and closeness.
Also, make sure you take time out for yourself. This may mean following your own dreams or taking a gardening class. Make sure that you and your spouse enjoy time away from the house and family, which can do wonders for their mood and energy level when they return. When people do what they are passionate about and strive to have fun and be enthusiastic they are happier people who are more likely to be fun to be around. This will make you a better parent and a better spouse.
Never underestimate the power of flattery. Before the kids came along you probably did special things that let your partner know just how much you loved them. It doesn’t have to be an expensive gift or anything major – a simple note in a briefcase, a comforting hug at the end of the day or making time to be playful with each other can do the tricks. It is also important to continue to do little things for each other. Help with chores, stop by and grab something for dinner that you know your spouse loves or run them a hot and bubbly bath to relax in. Notice when one of you becomes too stressed out and try to step in so that they will be able to recharge their batteries. The point is, be respectful of each other and continue to make one another a priority.
If it weren’t for you and your spouse, your child wouldn’t be here. Your child is the perfect combination of the two of you and has the power to bring you together or draw you apart. Keep love, patience and the importance of your relationship at the forefront of your life and you will not just be great parents, but great partners as well.
